Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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