i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
it's like heaven, but drunker
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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