I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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