hell yes lets make some ravioli
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
i out mim tonsoeep
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
