he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
