So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
