he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
