I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
