how can u be prego again
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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