ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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