Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
