i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
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