i would punch a child for taco bell
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
