So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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