But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I am one with the molecules
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
