are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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