What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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