Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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