Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
two words...techno handjob
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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