Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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