I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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