I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
