I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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