are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
