Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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