You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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