Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I am in a vortex of obligation.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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