I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
