I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
