found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
