Apparently you make a good broom.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
