i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
