try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I think I just sharted jello shots
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
