I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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