so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
