i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
and you fell through a lawn chair
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
