Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
accomplished twins. life is a go
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
