Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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