your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
