and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
