i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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