SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
