Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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