i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
