Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
