Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
