Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
