Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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