I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
