I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Four minutes until I can fart!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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