the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
