The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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