he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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