she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My ATM looks so different sober.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
