there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
