We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
