if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
