drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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