So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
lets start a swedish sibling band together
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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