the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
