peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
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