Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
