hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you made out with another girl for some wings
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
