I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
