How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize