How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
