my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
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