..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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