i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
