she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
