weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize