new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
