i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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