she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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